Monday, March 17, 2008

Another Rest

"For if Joshua had given them rest, He would not have spoken of another day after that. So there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God." - Heb 4:8-9

Today was supposed to be my Sabbath rest. Couldn't do it yesterday because I had Army-related duties. But, I forgot I had my Portland Rescue Mission stuff tonight. Working there in the contact office is often anything but rest.

I've been reading in II Chronicles 20 about how Jehoshaphat asked God for help. "For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on you."

That verse stuck out to me in a way that rarely ever happens. "Nor do we know what to do." I can relate to that so well it's creepy. It's been an unofficial motto of mine for the last few weeks. I've had promises prophesied over me, which brought about awareness of my inadequacies, which brought old doubt and fears to the surface, which left me feeling ridiculous and tired. God promises riches according to His glory . . . for a person like me.

So, here I am, having people ask me if we have socks, gloves, grocery bags or combs (which we're out of all of these). I have to bring bad news. Then I have people insisting that they simply can't wait for the men's restroom to be free. They must be allowed to use the women's. They're annoyed when I continue to refuse them.

The phone rings, people need their mail checked . . . I should probably check if the guy taking up so much time in the bathroom is doing drugs . . . but I don't know what to do.

It can be a huge struggle to humble ourselves and say to God, "I can't do this. You've gotta do it," but it's a good idea.

Here's what the response to Jehoshaphat's prayer was:

"Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's . . . You need not fight in this battle; station yourself, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf,"

When I take the time to really let go and to be okay with my lack of strength, God does come in. "You don't need to fight this," He says. "That's good," I say, "because I can't!"

It's weird, because when you do this, things somehow work out. I don't get it. I mess up and do stupid things and make some people angry, but somehow things still work out. God's got a funny way of working behind the scenes.